Shopping Yesterday

As I quilt, supplies diminish. For instance, I needed thread, and fabric for borders and a back. I shopped at both stores in town to get what I need and should be okay for a little while again. The next purchase I need to make is for batting and there is still a little money left on a JoAnn's gift card I got during the holidays.

My physical energy has slowed down again. Every day is different and I cannot count on having the same energy to quilt from one day to the next. For awhile, I felt so much stress that I couldn't produce at the same pace.

My Jungian Psych course got me going mighty deep into who I am, how I think, and what my next steps are. I think all my life was spent in 'doing' and now the focus shifts to 'being' and that is hard. Hard for a doer. Hard for that Personality Type A. Hard for the push I have always felt.

Last year when I read something the government puts out for SS, it said that the average age expectancy for a woman my age was another 15 years. That hit me harder than I realized. Fifteen years is both a long time and a very short time. A year later, it counts down to 14.

I don't feel the push to get quilts made for all my immediate family members because those who want one got one, and some got more than they could use. Now, it feels like I have to beg people to take one...and a few of them who do want a quilt want one in specific colors rather than understanding that I am and always have made quilts from what I have rather than to shop for more fabrics. 

I thought I would write more. I blog and lately not even every day. I don't get out in my gardens as much because they reached that stage of being on their own and didn't need as much from me. Life has changed for me in the last five years and I have not caught up with what that means.

Early mornings are better for me to think and plan and do. By mid-day, I feel the effects of my age, and by late afternoon or early evening, I want to just sit and 'veg out'. Then the next morning, I wake and realize I made it through the night and need to start again. 

Today is one of those days. I have thread to finish quilting the Outhouse Quilt, I have fabric to finish the top of the Snails Trail Quilt and have another Log Cabin ready to quilt. So I will get at it and do what I can for the day and be glad.