My energy was really higher than it has been for awhile and that might be because I am getting deep sleep. Not having heat in the house, I put up a piece of foam board insulation over my bedroom window and hung a very dark purple corduroy over it. They both lock out the light! After my last call in to the utilities department, I decided that they could, would and are taking their sweet time getting my furnace control fixed, and I was responsible for either being a victim or surviving this cold.
For whatever reason, it came to me that being a victim with anything or anyone was like giving up my power to create, and to live full out. It is irresponsibility to place myself in the hands of anyone. I just don't care to engage in the conflict or the blame game. Once I decided that, my energy drew back from "those people" and was mine again.
Yes, I finished the hand quilting project. Before I go too much further with it, I want to check each seam and make sure I didn't miss anything. Not by dim light, but in the full daylight and cold of the room.
I discovered that all my bobbins were loaded with a beige for piecing and there were none left to do the teal blue on the Kaleidoscope quilt. To change that situation, I chain stitched the center 4-patches on the Constellation quilt that will evolve into star blocks. Are there 50? I think there will be 50 stars. I have to check the pattern. Not all of the 4-patches were started, and these pairs will need to be pressed open and joined to their partners. I really like working like this, which is about setting up projects so that I can flit from one to another without wasting time or needing to stay with one to the end. Most quilts will finish out before fall to be mailed by Thanksgiving.
Other projects I started involved more cutting and need to be finished soon. I belong to a 6" block swap and we are to make two blocks that measure 6.5" from 100% quilting weight cotton. I've got patterns for three different blocks. My partner, this month, is open to any Star pattern in any colors. It is my hope that two of them will turn out good enough to send. Those 6" blocks that fail to meet the standards will go into the Wonky box and be adjusted in whatever they need. She is from Italy and lives in Rome. She is married with a 3-year-old Son and works in the airport. I am LOVING our email conversations. She is the third Italian woman I have met in three consecutive months.
The other project is for a swapbot swap that I am hosting called ANIMAL SPIRIT GUIDE/ IMBOLC ENERGY. The idea of it is to make something for one partner that holds the energy of a Winter animal we might see or imagine. I suggested providing some text or research and then making something of substance for the partner to either hang, wear or set on an altar.
I selected Raven because I see so many of them outside. My research was really wonderful and I learned a great deal from it. One of the legends says that the Great Spirit put the energies of creation into boxes that were given to all the Animals because they came before Humans. Well, you know how Seagulls can be..."Mine, mine, mine." And flew off with the box refusing to open it. Great Spirit sends Raven. Raven gets Seagull to drop the box and releases the Sun, Moon and Stars.
A box. I love the fabric boxes I've made. It is a perfect choice for the legend as well as my skills. I have this black fabric with moons and stars that glow in the dark. And I found a yellow (which doesn't show in the pic) to represent the Sun. Legend says that Raven is responsible for bringing light to the daytime, and enlightenment at night.
And then, after finishing these smaller projects, my attention will turn to paper piecing.
For whatever reason, the act of cutting fabric was like shaking out my soul. Down through history, cutting is symbolic for releasing, for letting go of relationships or events and for closure on any sort of issue. For awhile, it was believed that we cut people out of our lives, yet a kinder way is more to release than to sever. Cutting is also painful.
I know. Not too long ago I cut the tip of my index finger with the rotary blade. Experience has taught me to release and how to release.
However, fabric must be cut for better use in quilts, or in failing that, it will be released or given away to someone who can use it.
I finished cutting scraps in two bins, reducing the volume in them by half. After changing a second rotary blade for this project, I decided it was enough cutting for this session.
More squares were added to the shoe-boxes that I also labeled with sizes, as well as colorizing some and doing a count to how many squares were in the box. With this information, I can grab and go to make a quilt when I get a pattern for one.
One shoe-box is filled to capacity with the 2.5" strips.
My plan is to sew strips end to end & use them for binding on one of the random quilts. None of these boxes is really very neat, however, they are much more accessible for a quilting project.
Nothing was tossed in this activity. The small scraps have been tossed into this basket, over-flowing. The plan is to fill a fleece sack that will become a Grand-dog or Grand-cat's bed. Usually these bits went into the trash.
I admit that the shaking out of my soul had a lot to do with releasing. Some things in life are painful and unavoidable. Life is this creative experience whether or not we have children, whether we paint, or sew, garden or walk in the forest.
Cutting / releasing things that no longer serve us in their current state is a way to see the world fresh.
All my cluttered bins of fabric were getting in my way and I had to take this time to do something about it or continue being frustrated when I went looking for something. It was like they represented other difficult people and things that needed my attention. No one saw my bins, so no one really knew how frustrated having that clutter was for me. No one knew how hard it was for me to be creative living with a mess.
Yet, that might not be true. I think we do see more about each other than we talk about or share. This is the Johari window every Pysch 101 class talks about. Read it down to see what is known to self and not known to self. Then read across to see what is known to others and not known to others. The more open we are in sharing, the less that is hidden to ourselves and the less others know about us. The reward of that is that the orange unknown is in our subconscious and begins to heal in this process.
My simple act of cutting fabric. Now you know. Now I know. Now I am known more to myself.
An expeditor is someone who moves things along quickly and efficiently, to get the job done on time. In some settings the expeditor is responsible for the quality of their products and ensuring customer satisfaction. Its definitely a vital skill to have for a quilter so that she doesn't end up with a lot of UFO's.
Again for me, a WIP (work in progress) is not the same as a UFO (unfinished object) simply because I plan to finish one and not the other. Someone looking at my bins might think differently. Usually I flit from one project to another, yet with this quilt, its been pretty steady hand quilting to meet its deadline.
The last two spins to the Kaleidoscope quilt are on the frame. There are 8 days left in the month for me to finish before it needs to be shipped off. My younger Son is on a cruise in the Bahamas with his lady for the rest of the week and its so much warmer in the 70's there than it is in Minnesota where it is below freezing in the single digits. He will welcome the additional warmth of this quilt when it arrives for his birthday. Here, in my house, still no furnace heat and just at freezing outside. It keeps me warm too, as I work on it.
My personal nature struggles to finish things, any thing. I am a much better visionary and starter, so it takes more commitment from me to work on projects that are near-to-done. What is left to the center for this quilt is an easy job for today and tonight, and then it will lay across my bed so I can decide how the borders will be finished. I know that it will take me two nights to do hand sewing for the binding once the quilt is trimmed and the binding added by machine. Suddenly, a time crunch is looming ahead, and that always gets me going. Whatever is planned for the borders has to move along in a three-day/night time slot.
Something happened to me while I was doing what I thought was boring work. I became enchanted by cutting my scraps and sorting them into clear shoe-box size containers. It is brainless work, for the most part. Yet, being organized and finding ways to reduce the bulk of scrap fabrics is such a joy for me. I appreciate everything that has been given to me, and my goal this week is to do the work of a cutter.
There are three more larger containers for me to go through and do this organized cutting. Hours and hours and hours of work. The rotary blade needs changing next, and each clear box needs its label or name: 2", 3", 4", 5", 6", 8", 10" and 2.5" strips. Nothing is colorized but sits in its like-sized box quite randomly. Each box holds the potential to become one of those scrappy quilts that so many folks seem to enjoy.
I got to thinking about making random quilts with these squares and started to see how making one without planning it would be like releasing someone I love to find their own way in the world. I don't have to say the right words in the right way any more than I have to match one square to another or ensure that the colors get spread out.
This one was made in Pinks for Grandgrrrl #4 last year. It was more focused than what is going to happen with the scrappy version, but is really an easy make. The unifying factor seems to be the border(s), and with all the scrappy 2.5" strips, they will become binding in another random way.
Even with our best efforts, we don't have the power to change another person. And what happens is going to be ok. In fact, if its like one of these quilts, something happens to make it valued. Choices, mistakes, different paths. Who is to say those things are right or wrong if in the end, the person has found their identity, found their value, and learned their life lessons?
I am going to fill up these shoe-box containers with like sized squares and then start piecing. Randomly piecing and trusting that everything will work out in the end.
"Compassion hurts. When you feel connected to everything, you also feel responsible for everything. And you cannot turn away. Your destiny is bound with the destinies of others. You must either learn to carry the Universe or be crushed by it. You must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors." - Andrew Boyd
I never heard of this man before seeing a quote of his the other day. A little research showed that he calls himself an author and a prankster. I think he also has been called a philosopher and that strikes me as true. It made me wonder what I call myself these days. Over the years, I have worn several different hats depending upon what I was doing in the moment. The world seems to need our labels and we work to make it happen. Anyway, I like what he said about compassion hurting, not turning away and all else right up to sitting down at the same table with what we love and what we find horrifying.
My cutting project proved productive. I actually cut 40 charm squares for the swap, pressed them, then colorized them & bagged them for shipping. Only 20 were requested, and I have so much fabric, that a little generosity only pays back what I have received from others. Sometimes the only way to express that gratitude comes in sharing in ways that work for me.
The full task of cutting also did a couple of things, with all these smaller squares starting with the 2.5" size up to the 10" squares. I am not colorizing any of them and just putting them away in the smaller bins.
Also, the scraps and selvages were cut and tossed into a basket. It was surprising how much they overflowed with one day's work. I didn't think I would have enough to fill one of those pet pillows in a year, but it might not take as long as was expected.
It would be nice to go through the two bins I have in my bedroom closet cutting those scraps into usable squares. Thing is, cutting scraps, while it is meaningful work for quilting, is not all that much fun. I need to get back to hand quilting and start up on the paper piecing project.
There are no plans for the newly cut squares. With 13 quilts already scheduled for 2015, I just want to get through what is started before taking on a new one.Several of my projects are close to done and it will not take but a few days to finish those up. With these newly cut squares, if a new project comes calling, a lot of the work is already done to get it going. It would be simply a matter of selecting the size of the square and then seeing if the coordinating colors are there.
I love quilting.
Guess for this part of my life, it is exactly right for me to own the label of quilter.
Its really a deceptively simple identity.
My super power.
It's raining outside. A welcome rain. I've fed the birds twice already this morning and of course, they eat everything they can find.
The Kaleidoscope quilt is getting there. The last two spins are on the quilting frame. However, other things are happening today that make me want to be up and down a little more than usual.
I am pretty kinesthetic, which simply means I am in almost constant motion. In another era, the powers that be might have labeled me hyperactive, impulsive and even inattentive, which are kind words for ADHD. I would like to say I've learned how to cope with these issues, but in truth, they are masked by simple mental force learned over half a century of self-discovery, goal-setting, list-making and self-isolating. Stress ignites being less in control. Certainly its a borderline condition but mine, non-the-less.
I think this is why I have so many projects going at one time. I can move from one to another, and also have learned to record everything about the project in the project container. This morning found me flitting from room to room, trying to do everything at once. I had not made a list and got caught in a whirlwind. I reached for my Bach's Rescue Remedy and sat and watched birds at the feeder for awhile. You see, its not as critical with me as it is for a lot of other folks I know.
After cutting the pieces for my older Son's Constellation quilt, I just tossed the remainders in a plastic bag and set it behind a chair. Here is the result of sorting and folding. What happens next is that I want to start cutting them into the largest pieces the fabric allows, and putting them into the appropriate containers, such as 10", 8", 6", 5", 4", 3", 2.5" and 2.5" strips. They need a good pressing too, so it will be a full day's work.
One of my swaps that goes in the mail on Monday is for (20) charm or 5"squares. The word charm is used when there is only one of each in the project. This is one project that can be completed while I manage the remainders.
Another swap that was just assigned is for the 6.5" blocks. My partner requested any star block and in any color combination. Once again, if something goes amiss, the block can go into my wonky box. I've found 3 patterns I would like to work on, and will see if any color combinations from the remainders can work. The blocks ask for either 2 or 3 different fabrics and most pieces are smaller.
The stress? My Daughter-in-Law called early to say her Mother is at the end stage of life after a long battle with breast cancer. Her Father passed this summer from heart disease. Then my Son called. Here I am, wanting to hold them, to comfort them as my dear friend of more than 20 years transitions to another plane.
I thought I was rolling my needle through the fabric, however, its called rocking the stitch. And when I think of it, that makes more sense. Funny how words matter. In our relationships we can make unbelievable defenses with each other just on how we interpret a single word or a sentence. And does it really matter, I wonder?
There is a saying, 'her house, her rules' that we learned as children playing with dolls. We could have the best dressed dolly and all her accessories, but when we went to a friend's home for her tea party, she was the boss of us all. Here are a few of my dolls, and they don't get a lot of attention. In fact, I realize there are some missing who are scattered around my house that might have a better view of my work if they sat on this shelf. I might need to take time out and gather them together.
I grew up as a solitary child; I understood "the rule" for adults in my life, and have always kept it with respect for my peers. It might not be one that is understood by younger generations with the changes we've made for our young females to be competitive team players, corporate execs and community leaders. Power is a shifting value just like rocking a needle through fabric to make a quilt sandwich. I think most younger women are still trying to figure out their personal power.
I've seen photos of groups of women sewing together in sweat shops and their own homes, and yet know its not something I want to do, even with the advantages of finishing a quilt faster and building community. This pic, in particular shows the standard hard chairs they endured sitting upon, and sometimes when I am elsewhere, this is how it feels. I rather like quilting alone in the comfort of my home.
My house, my rules, so it seems. My dolls form my in-house intentional community. I remember sitting up or away and watching the adults in my life the way I have them do.
I spent almost 4 hours on Jer's quilt and from the last photo, it seems a slow go. I have decided to pre-wash it and check for popped threads and any other issue that comes up.
