Following instructions hasn't always been easy for me. In truth, it might still be something I struggle with and want to understand why I get into those places. It takes so much time to process what others say and see if I can fit into their rules... and in the end, its about opening my mind to believe in my own light rather than to operate in dysfunctional systems. I've been learning to see the bigger picture first, like seeing the finished quilt project, and then looking at the details. Both are important concepts in my life and in quilting.
I came up against another pattern that didn't have the correct information on it. Its the last block for this BOM Carol & I did this year. Carol even contacted a person and got instructions. However, they were for the larger block and I couldn't understand them. So I went ahead on my own.
It was easy to see that the pattern was missing pieces, so I did cut more and laid them out. However, not having the instructions for how to put the pieces together created another problem. I might be able to get it finished today.
The two other quilts that I am working on will show a finish for Friday if I can get the borders done today.
And speaking of patterns, I found one in the Summer 2014 edition of Fons & Porter Quilting Quickly called "Foxy" that uses a horizontal striped material. Last year, someone gave me fabric that they couldn't use because its a horizontal stripe & she couldn't figure out how to use it. The fabric has bird houses and Santas on one piece, garden houses on another and farm garden houses on a third. I read the pattern many times and have started a quilt that uses the Santas. Because of the length of the fabric, I had to calculate a bit to make other squares fit on it, but its already so cute!!!!
I can tell I am not at the place of being able to design my own patterns. I CAN adapt what I see in a pattern to make it my own, and that is a good place to be. It seems that a person has to grow their skills and keep learning by their mistakes and even the mistakes that others make. Sometimes its so frustrating.
I have learned not to blindly follow others, whether they are in positions of authority, or if it is written in a book or magazine and presented as truth. I know that early educators want to get the kids aligned and orderly just to manage the room. They don't often have time to cultivate curiosity or individualism at that age. When does that happen, I wonder? When do we step up into our own without fear of getting our hands slapped, or being told that we cannot make a tree with orange leaves?
A mystery is something difficult to explain, or gives you clues to uncover its solution. Funny thing is that with books or movies that are all about mysteries, I am just as in the dark & can never figure them out, often being surprised by the end.
When I first attended a Mystery Quilt retreat, I hated what was happening, especially not knowing where the fabrics were going. That pattern missed a step, which of course I only discovered after the weekend. So I struggled with it for a year. I still second guess when I select fabrics, but now, just shrug my shoulders and go for it.
Since that first one, I've made several more and loved each of them. I am actually working on two right now (one is an Applique Mystery and the other was called a Spring Mystery). This is where I am with The Spring Mystery. Clearly my fabric choices were to use up more of my holiday scraps. I've already pieced the 4-patch border, so that is the next step to finishing this top. Then it goes into the 2015 finishes-bin and will go to my Great-Nephew Tony.
Yet, in many ways, much of how I quilt is a mystery. All those BOM swaps are pieces that will go onto a finished quilt and so there is no way to know how they will fit together.
And then there is life. What a big mystery it is! Everyday I wake up is a wonder. No matter what or how I plan, something could change it. And that is the joy.
Yes, I was enchanted by the music of the Mamas & the Papas, and almost every week find myself singing this song, Monday, Monday found on this link. The song was a number one hit in 1966 & was famous for the pause near the end of it.
Mama Cass was an amazing singer and the reason the group was so popular. Her soul came out through her powerful voice. They were responsible, in part, for my life-long desire to live in California. And the songs she presented after the group broke up were life changing for me.
Paraphrasing the song, "you've gotta make your own kind of quilts, stitch your own special way, make your own kind of quilts even if nobody quilts along." I loved her version of the song, Dream a Little Dream of Me which helps me dream my quilts into reality.
When I think of the life that Cass lived back in the 60's, she made a difference for women and men by how she lived full out. She dealt with a lot of weight and health issues, did a lot of drugs which were fashionable in that era, and died young. It always seemed to me that by living her dreams, she paved the way for the rest of us. Being in the public eye often leads to criticism rather than support, rumors rather than truth.
She was one of the people I thought about when I considered my own career. It almost seems like the act of quilting is in direct opposition to being on stage. It represents a quiet way of life, one of generative spirituality for me. A dream, a vision. Does one touch generations of people or just one person at a time? I think there is quality of humanity in both ways.
I am excited to say that all three of the mug rugs I made are shipping out today in time for Mothers' Day (one for Mother and one for my Daughter-in-Law). I simply dealt with all the feelings that came up for me about them and let them go. I wanted them to look better than they did. And they are fine.
My workstation has the mystery quilt and the red-white-beige-blue quilt on it ready for another round of piecing.
Monday, Monday, so good to me. Monday morning, it is all I hope it will be.
My quilting seems to start with a vision and a dream. Plans start in my thoughts and grow through my emotions long before I select fabrics and patterns. Its like wondering which comes first, the chicken or the egg, the please or the thank you.
I've been working on my Summer Mug Rug swap all week, and both finished my second version, and started on a third last night. My dreams are rather passive about it, and come to me almost unbidden as I wake in the morning or throughout the day.
Visions, however, are more active for me and help me do whatever task is at hand. I have a vision for it and am being quite stubborn to making it come to reality.
When a dream fails, or a quilt project is not quite right in my heart and head, it maybe that what I want is wildly unrealistic or beyond my skills to create.
Having a vision about this Mug Rug encourages me to set a realistic goal. For instance, I want this project completed so I can ship it and my Calendar block out at in the same package. I cut another group of fabrics for it last night. I also want it to look the way I see it. At this point, I don't care if its a dream or a vision.
Its not that there was anything wrong with the first two. They are going to good homes. Its just that they did not meet my expectations. I will keep keeping on until one of them does. Key for me is not to give up, not to become immobilized by the 'fail', if it was that. I want to see my experiences as learning opportunities and hope I learn and evolve.
Sunrise is coming earlier now each day and its a time of day that I have always loved. This morning, as I woke, I could hear birds chittering outside, and that made me smile. The longer I stayed in bed, the more I thought about the various quilt projects as works in progress (WIP), and what I wanted to do next. Up, up, up, even on Saturday.
Last night, I finished the 9" BOM that Carol (my local quilting friend) & I are doing. One more block to complete & we are onto the next BOM quilt for this year. I've saved out fabrics used on these blocks for making borders. It should come together as a nice sampler quilt.
As I laid in bed thinking about this day, it seemed to me that life is also like the soil in my gardens outside. It offers potential, however, I have to do work to get it going or keep it going. Everything I do becomes a WIP (work in progress) or a UFO (unfinished object). What makes the difference between the two is my intention and attention. I ask myself whether I want to do the work or finish what I started or give it up and away. At this stage in my life, I am no longer interested in holding onto things that do not serve my greater good.
My efforts are what make the difference in the quality of life that is mine. Every day, I chose to wake up, chose to smile in spite of any pain I might feel in my body, my mind or soul. Every day is mine to feel gratitude or resentment, joy or fear.
I worked on the Summer Mug Rug last night too, and its ready for binding today, so it can get shipped out on Monday. The concept for it is still something I like, but the execution of it still needs work for it to be a 'wow' creation. Somethings are like that, and in fact, its a good thing for me to want to do better. Its a great reason to wake up in the morning!
Many years ago, in a conversation with my Daddy, he used the word "different" as a comment about someone. He said that the person we were talking about wasn't better or worse than me, but was simply different.
It was a lesson I carried with me from then until now about not needing to compete to be "number one". Our cultural message about being the best is the one we hear as soon as we start school and start interacting with others. Its as though we are failures if we do less than everyone else.
We are told how to listen in conversations, how to compete for the attention of our teachers, groups we belong to and even among friends. All that kind of competition erodes our sense of self.
When Daddy used the word, he let me know that being different didn't mean that I was less than or more than another person. He let me know that it was ok to have my own perspective, my own experience, my own choices and my own outcomes.
From this lesson, I have learned not to rate people in my life, not to say that this is my best friend, or this is the best cup of coffee, or this is the best...of anything. I do my best, but know in my heart of hearts that there is always someone out there who has more education and more experience who, if we were in a competition would show their work and have it look better, even if it wasn't actually their best effort. We never know what is in their hearts.
My swap blocks are finished this morning and ready to ship out. The only thing left to complete is the Summer Mug Rug. I worked on it all day yesterday and after hand quilting it, nothing about it worked for me, so I started over last night.
Two of my swap partners for this month live in Australia, which is a country almost as large as the USA. It takes more than a couple of weeks after posting for the packages to arrive. I am in two of the swaps hosted by the group. These blocks are for the 6" swap. Only two are required, however, they are hard to make & this is my first attempt at doing them. Two blocks are made with the Indian Star, one with the Colorado Star and the most complex of them is the Summer Nights Star. I used the same fabrics for all of them; and yet everything is different and up to interpretation as to what will serve their finishes, and what is not quite what was hoped for. I worked hard to get them to come out good enough for my own comfort. Out of my hands and on their way to Australia.
I am showing one of the 12" blocks for that Christmas Block swap. This pattern is called Card Trick & is one I wanted to try for some time. Its a bit more challenging than one would think but satisfied me with how it looks. I am not posting the second block just yet because the pattern is similar to the Mug Rug I am making for my swap with Rex.
I also finished the May Calendar block and will not post the pic until Rex receives it. Our swaps are different in this way as we have waited for the photos to keep the surprise.
Last night, I browsed the pictures on Pinterest to get some ideas for Mug Rugs and was overwhelmed by the work. Wow. I started to fall into the cultural trap of comparing my quilting to that of the others shown. I have no idea how long anyone has been quilting, what their quilting skills are or what resources they have for fabric or classes, or how many samples of the work they made before posting that one photo.
I scared myself in the darkness of the night into thinking I was not good enough to make a small 7x11 Mug Rug. The cut and pinned pieces are sitting by my machine this morning for another attempt. I am determined to do my personal best, and it will be enough.
Someone once told me that the longest journey is the one we take inward. If we are not busy being born where we grow, evolve, stand up and stand out, we are busy dying.
During a road trip yesterday, my local quilting friend Carol & I decided to start another BOM and plan to use the patterns and tutorials from Quilting Gallery's block-library. We discovered that just having a pattern was not enough and that we need the step by step joining. Both of us got relatively frustrated with the patterns we followed this last year.
The first block in this tutorial is called Summer Nights and the instructions are for both a 6" and a 12" block. I have already cut material to do a 6" for one of my swaps. I've decided to make a quilt from these blocks that have a black background or somehow use black and whites as a focus.
My inward journey as an evolving woman and a blossoming quilter helps me face the powerful forces that hide in my inner shadows. With quilting, I see the value in having lights, brights and darks in any project. And I know that the most intense shadows are seen when the sun is the brightest.
The quilting lessons flow into my soul and teach me that the shadows or darker colors are not so frightening but contain a richness that makes the rest of the fabrics pop. They offer a contrast on a quilt, and represent an inner magnificence for my spirit that only pushing through the hard times in life can bring.
I want to see behind the fears and insecurities that have built up in me over the decades of my life and keep discovering the beauty that is within. Each time I experience even a minor success in creating a quilt block helps me see how the steps of my life brought me here to this moment in time.
I cannot say that every project turns out the way I envisioned it, but I can say I keep working on them.
May Day is a high holy day where we celebrate flowers, the beauty of all women and girls, morning dew on our faces, and dance around May Poles. It is a turning of the great wheel of the year. Every day is a celebration somewhere of some kind. Every day can be one of joy and personal evolution.
May you be blessed by all you think and do. Happy May Day.
