Gone With the Mail

One of the swap blocks I made got into the mail and it wasn't until I returned home that I realized there was no photo of it, which was a bummer for me. Then I got concerned about writing my feelings and wondered why I needed to be positive when I wasn't feeling all that great about it.

It was interesting to see how forgetting to take the photo let the air out of my creative efforts. I started back at my work, and found myself so self-critical that I began to make small mistakes, turning to my seam ripper over and over. And of course, even that tore into my soul. How silly. How really silly.

The next block I made was the BSA Churn Dash in 2 colors of pink with white. It was ok and yet, I wanted to switch the pinks and see if it turned out better. Its a pattern I've used before and this one called for two colors.

The second one seemed to pop more and brought back a bit more confidence. I'll send both blocks to my swap partner because I just have no use for pink in a block at this time and cannot imagine it for the future. This way, she can chose which one works better for her needs.

I wondered how and why not taking one photo sent me down. Maybe it was something else. It is raining outside and cold. Weather has been building to colder temps and my body feels it. And it is after a birthday. Some folks say that happens too.

Whatever it was, my feelings were real. I think that our culture wants us to label any sort of distress or depression or sadness as being worse of a situation than if you broke a bone or had the flu. Visible illnesses, or accidents are ok where this sadness or disappointment I am feeling is invisible and almost not ok to experience.

There are more advancements being made to recognize the hidden disabilities....dis meaning taking away, putting down...and of course add that to the word ability and whatever a person has that is not the normal functioning level is considered less than.

I watched Dancing with the Stars tonight and one of the latest episodes has a contestant who lost an arm and a leg in the Iraq war. Oh how he is a hero when he gets out and dances, pushing his limits! Yet in last week's episode, the prosthetic arm hurt him and in his frustration, he tore it off and tossed it aside. That dance had to be recreated; he got high praise from the judges and audience. We may never see his daily struggles after the season ends and he is out of the spotlight, in a dark room at night and all alone again. The public, our culture, doesn't want to know that part of a hero's life. We do not look, do not see any brokenness in others. 

Nor do I want to see this part of my life. I want every day to be positive, to be filled with joy, laughter and high productivity. And when it is not, then I feel obligated to find something good to say or at least not write about feeling down. Something simple that goes wrong or is unplanned just gets moved to high trauma drama. Jeeze! That's just so out of balance, yet it is my trauma drama.

 One of my Gramma Anna's favorite songs was by John Denver, who was a hero too; a humanitarian, an overachieving artist & entertainer, and yet struggled personally with relationship issues, addictions, arrests, and endless court cases. I find myself humming it tonight, remembering the music and all the good he did in his life through political activism. 

"I'd like to say I've been fine, and I do; but we both know the truth is hard to come by, and if I told the truth, that's not quite true. Some days are diamonds, some days are stones. Sometimes the hard times won't leave me alone. Sometimes a cold wind blows a chill in my bones. Some days are diamonds, some days are stones..."

Some Days Are Diamonds (You Tube link to the song)

Heart Bookmarks

Change is ever in my life, as it is in every one's. How we deal with change either brings the flow from one thing to another, or holds us captive, stuck in past dreams.

This month marks the official ending of teaching classes. I want to turn that energy more towards writing. One of the participants who has been with me for 3 years in this class is moving out of state and so changes for her as well. 

I wanted to give her a simple fare-thee-well gift and decided to make a fabric heart bookmark. The other one is for part of a swap-bot swap focusing on the Heart Chakra. I made a number of them for Winter Solstice gifts last year and so found it easier to make them this time around.

Other things I did were to gather fabrics for various projects, though nothing has been cut. Its always fun to play with colors and textures. I fixed a frame and hung a print on the wall in the entry. And I wrote out thank you notes for gifts I received for my birthday. The day was peaceful even with the markers of change being quite apparent.

Change is often a singular experience, and each of us gets to chose whether or not we move forward. Thing is, we forget how our choices effect others, and may not even see how or if they struggle to release us to our forward motion. When change happens in the community, some of us welcome it and others rail against it as if our storming mattered.

Painting

I've had a number of painting projects going this week. Its like working on my own self, my behavior, all the things I see that need re-touching or re-finishing to make me look more presentable, more acceptable. Thing is, when I do this kind of work, no one sees, no one comes onto my property to know. What they would see are things that were "in need" of cleaning or repair.

The first painting project was inside the house; the entry. It has one wall painted red, and so first needed cleaning, then a coat of Kilz and then the darker blue. Yes, I love the more intense colors. I have a print that is going in the space between the bookshelf and the mirror. The books on this shelf are listed on Amazon and see regularly. 

The next HUGE painting task was the shed rooftop. I've been here more than 8 years now and have done nothing for it. Before it starts to rust (and the Cali drought has lasted over 3 years), I wanted to put a coat of Rustolium on it. The wear on it is seen on those first front panels where the northside tree hangs over it. I used a 7-step ladder to reach the top, and had it squished between the shed and the block wall to get the back three ridges. I did it over the morning and was exhausted for the rest of the day.

Needless to say, these physical tasks are best done in the Spring before high temps set in. And of course, that means I haven't been quilting as much. One of my swaps is to focus on the Goddess Minerva, whose sacred animal is the Owl. We are to put 4 items in the package, and I made a spirit bowl as one of them. Its patterned after that fabric box I made my Cuz and while its not anywhere as lovely, it will serve for this project. Just have buttons to add on the points.

I am a lot less hard on myself these days to produce. Age is creeping up on me, draining my energy a little more each day, and yet, I am able to do what I want by taking my time and asking for help when I need it. I see that all my tasks or projects are part of a healthy, love-centered search for what is beautiful in me and around me.

Pinning Projects

I have three projects at the stage of pinning, and one of them is the paper piecing cats quilt.

I've joined the left sides with the right sides now and before they actually get sewn together, I want to lay them out and see if I like how they actually look. This particular quilt is all about the gradient look of the colors within in each row and for each row to the next. This is the beauty of the quilt and it will take time to make it work to look effortless. The photo of the paper piecing pieces doesn't look like much, however does represent a lot of work thusfar.

The same could be said for the other two projects; one is another fabric box and the other one is those mug rugs with the striped border print. I am doing hand sewing on each of them and will most likely have them finished this week.

Today's major work, however, will be painting the shed rooftop a little later in the morning. There's a bit of touch up left in one corner of the entry room, and eventually both outside doors will get a coat of paint too. And the weeds. My goodness the weeds out there! Seems that I can always find a lot to do both inside and outside. 

Mug Rug Adventures

It seems to me that our world is being created by us every day. My life is filled with bins of fabrics and colors and its up to me to figure out how to make the best use of things. Using them up gives me a sense of purpose.

Although there is a dedicated day to work on Winter Solstice gifts, I found another scrap of holiday fabric that allowed me to cut out 2 simple mug rugs, using it for both front and backs for a perfect MR size. I am also using batting scraps. Then, I pulled out some red & white pieces that came to me in a swap and bled when I washed it (even with Color Catcher). I cut one of them up to use as binding. This stripe has enough to go around both MRs. These MR's are simple and some will go to younger members in my family, and some to the elders. I don't need to make them fancy and plan to let the fabric speak for itself.

I like to get set up to sew or piece and like to spend some days just doing the prep work. There is enormous power in working on every stage of quilting and I've come to see that its more about the process even though the finish is what most other folks want to see. Like these MR's, I want my fabric art to speak for itself.

Kangaroos for Christmas

When I first joined the international quilt block swap, some of my first partners were from Australia, or OZ as they call it. Some were from New Zealand or Middle Earth as I call it.  As time went on, I was connected with quilters in Italy, England, Germany and places here in the states. Swap-bot also brings me to countries like Finland, Singapore, Spain, Canada, Russia and other wonderful places in the world. I've found that it is important to open up to new ways of seeing how life is celebrated, and too, how important it is to keep your word, and do your best.

Several quilt block swap partners have sent me fabrics with prints specific to their area. Both of these fabrics were swap extras and this pattern is called the "Friendship Star". I used very little of the kangaroo fabric for this and plan to make a simple mug rug from what remains. The block will be added to my Grandson's quilt.

It surprises me how often I go through the quilting bins in my closet. While I wait for the delivery of a new machine, I've pulled out a number of projects that I can take to the next step that do not require using the machine. Its a way for me to continue celebrating my life and not get caught in sewing seeds of darkness.

I am going to finish painting the entry today. Its pretty chaotic in that room right now, with the washing machine pulled out of its corner, and all the paint equipment spread everywhere. Paints have less smell to them, but still have some. Outside painting is planned for the shed rooftop. I can hardly believe that snow is predicted for Wednesday! So the push is on to get paint on and dried. Snow. 

Well, I did say I was open to new adventures.

From Prayer Flags to Vintage Buttons

What's that old saying? "The devil is in the details". I posted minutes before midnight and it added onto the day before rather than for Wednesday's post. I really thought it was later than it was. April Fool.

The Constellations quilt project is put away, and I pulled out the April Prayer Flag project. My machine is really chugging its last, and an email came saying the new one is delayed. Of course they cannot tell me when it will ship so now I wait.

I am using some fabric given to me from a friend in Australia that is an aborigine print. Looking like it is stamped, it is quite unusual. The print repeats every 6" which is the width requirement, however, it is only 9" long and so a 3" piece needed to go onto the back for a sleeve effect. The fabric color is interesting too. Its not really a red or pink but is in the red family with the stamping color a blue of sorts.

I usually stitch ties on mine so they can be hung by themselves. I strung a rope between two trees in back and can see them out my studio window. With this swap, there hasn't been feedback so I am not sure what the recipients do with theirs. I've already hung my own for this month outside on the rope hanging between two trees in the West. 

The theme is to realize and take action when opportunity appears. 

I applied the Kilz sealant over the red on the walls in my entry, and while the can says it dries in 30 minutes, I gave it a bit more time before applying the darker blue. Of course, other rooms accommodate what was on shelves in there and it has gotten a well-needed deep cleaning. Tomorrow, the final coat of blue goes on.

And then a surprise package came from Madison. Rex has been on the lookout for buttons. Our mutual friend Beckie had quite the stash and sent a huge package of them for me. These are vintage buttons when you could buy a card full for $.30-.50! They aren't really collector items for really old buttons, but amazing non-the-less. The back of the card says they are made in Japan, and I am wondering if it was a pre-WWII era. I haven't heard the story how Beckie came by them, but Rex said someone in Beckie's family worked at a button factory. 

I remember being given a jar of buttons to play with as a child and still find it quite soothing to sort through them. I have no ideas how to use them but will be thinking.