What Happens Next

As I organized again today, I found things in containers & on shelves that are actually UFOs. I don't know how many years ago I started some tree skirts. I saw the pattern with the foundation fabric in the bag (yes it was a project in a grocerybag - PIG), and just shifted it into a different container, and put it away. I have no intention to even go forward, however, Its not getting tossed or passed along. I need a new UFO list. It is a UFO now. Officially.

One of the things discussed on the Jungian Webnar today is how we fall in love and how that cycles from passion to death of the relationship, and back again. It was meant to examine people relationships, and I could relate to it. However, as the day progressed, I thought how it relates to my quilting. There is this sort of attraction and passion when a person first starts... a relationship or a past time. 

It ferments and grows. But then there is this death to the illusion of what we think it is or who the person is to us. That is the time we start seeing flaws. And then the cycle continues with the vapor of the dying essence where you either run from it or stay for a rebirth. This is the third stage and time for the FIGHT, FLIGHT or FREEZE syndrome to kick in. If one is healthy, this is the stage that they leave a dysfunctional relationship. 

But what about a past time like quilting? I mean there are no angry arguments, nothing to push your buttons. Its all about you and what you do and how you do it. Oh sure, I could find all sorts of reasons to bail on quilting, but no one would be pushing me away.

Now, rebirth, whether it describes a relationship or this love of quilting is never the same as it was the first time around. It cannot be. When one thing changes, everything changes.

I have been having a very hard time getting on with my quilting projects these last few weeks, and have been doing all sorts of different things as a distraction. Maybe I do that every year after finishing up the quilts I want to send out for the holidays. This year was particularly difficult.

There is one more quilt that needs to go out, but not for a couple of weeks. Soon.

And then my sidebar here on the blog shows me the way to go on. 

Questions the instructor asked about why we stay in relationships included what the benefits were to staying. For some of us, its financial. Secure. But then we might stay and the partner could leave after all we did to negotiate. You never know.

The big message he had for us is to be fiercely real. To recognize that we often have lied to ourselves and others to stay in the relationship, but there comes a day when telling our truth is the only way.

So to my quilting.

I have learned my limitations in what I can do. I see my shortcomings, for instance reading patterns. Its not about beating myself up for the negatives I have come to see in myself. It IS about figuring out the raw truth. I like making lists so I can see what I think...

Pro side:

• I have quilts planned to finish and to start
• There is a lot of fabric still good enough to make beautiful quilts
• I do see an end to it
• Using the fabric I have and shopping from my closet first is good for the environment
• I have an entire bin of projects ready to go

Con Side:

• I hate how the machine quilting turns out
• I feel driven as a perfectionist
• Quilting stops me from writing because I run out of steam
• Scrap quilting doesn't always turn out to be as lovely as when a person buys everything new from the fabric store
• I may never finish what I have in my life time

Three Good Things / Day 37:

1. Life is getting more clear
2. I attended a Webnar for my Jungian Psych course
3. I am keeping the candle this week.