What comes from the heart, touches the heart. Like many others in our group, this month's 12" Christmas Block Swap partner has been particularly fun to chat with online. She is an advanced quilter, so I tried to up my game & give her a block that would seem worthy to her skills. Just from those chats, it was apparent that she would accept any block from me and wasn't looking for me to prove myself to her. It was all in my mind. It was me nursing these high expectations.
I found another Jinny Beyer Studios pattern & started cutting. http://www.jinnybeyer.com/quilting-with-jinny/free-patterns.cfm. No matter how I think I am working accurately, the Studio's instructions are really often for a quilter who is more skilled than I am. Yet, I keep trying. I love the creative options on this site. I even looked at You Tube to find a tutorial on setting those Y-triangles at the base of the red arrow-looking pieces. Everything is close, but not wholly spot on. I actually love the block and would be satisfied if it were mine.
It didn't take me long to see how I move in my relationships; that I want to do my very best, and that I am the one I need to please, not others. I know that might not seem so because the end result of my work often is a gift. However, my work is really about my own self-measurement and standard. I want to keep evolving in skills and spirit.
I gave that first block three tries with ripping seams and starting over. And then when it was all together and some of the points were not perfect, I decided to find a different pattern more at my skill level and make it. At this stage, I stopped looking at the points and just accepted it as done. I am packing both blocks for shipping this morning. My partner plans to use the swap blocks she gets as part of table runners for family gifts. I've seen some work of others in our group that are stunning. Sometimes a quilter will take three blocks, add sashing and borders, add a back & then quilt, and have a really outstanding small quilt to give.
I am not sure what it will take from within me to be satisfied with my own work. Its been a lifetime of this kind of behavior and so I can smile, knowing that this is who I am. Its can be like confusing the quilt block with the quilter. Neither will be perfect and maybe that is ok. Perfection might be a goal and a standard, but when it becomes an issue, then what it really brings to the forefront is a need for inner healing.