Saturday, August 5, 2017

Radical Acceptance

Quilting is an issue for Radical Acceptance.

Victor Frankl is quoted: Everything can be taken from me but one thing: The last of the human freedoms— to choose my attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose my own way.                         When I am no longer able to change a situation, I am challenged to change myself. Between stimulus & response there is a space. In that space is my power to choose my response. In my response lies my growth & my freedom.
I read his book MAN'S SEARCH FOR MEANING when I was in high school, more than 50 years ago. Yet, here I am full circle, finding him again. Now, they credit this quote as a way to find Radical Acceptance. It is when we acknowledge reality for our life and at its core begin to channel energy to move on no matter what it is we face.

I thought I understood it all those decades ago, and now it makes even more sense to me.
The storage issue I had was about not being able to see what was in the clear containers. They really needed an inventory label. I had been wasting countless hours pulling them all out to find what I was looking for. The heaviness of each box was draining my physical strength. After pulling them all out, going through to find what I need, packing them again and putting them back, the day seemed as spent as I felt.

OMGoodgoddess. It was just like issues in my life! These containers were not sparking joy for me and I couldn't see.
Personally, I was fighting against aging, allowing myself to become depressed & feeling hopeless about what I did, how my quilts looked, and how I looked. I couldn't see what was inside because I wasted time looking at my outside image.
In my attempt to solve this storage issue & how it wore me out, I pulled everything into the room again, AND printed off or wrote labels for everything inside a container. I put the 2019 projects on the bottom stack in the corner, with the 2018 projects on top. In front for easy access were the projects that could be ,or might be finished yet in 2017. Plus, I labeled fabric & batting bins even though I could identify them. 
The Bird Quilts are finished and ready to ship, just not yet. They are on the bottom yet in front. I like to go through them, shake them out and refold so they don't crease as they wait.
Radical Acceptance is about healing one's self. It is recognizing that while life might not be fair or not be what one wants, it is what it is. Healing comes when you can move on.
It has been a joy to use what I have in my closets & watch the stash of it all diminish. 
Funny, that is exactly how I feel about my personal skills. Change is inevitable & I just want to keep going until it is done. My stash & my life. Its not morbid to accept change. It is healthy and necessary to live full out at any stage. 
I stopped joining swaps, simply set up to exchange blocks. It didn't work for me because I never felt like I measured up, even if that was an inaccurate perception. Stopping the swaps was clearly radical acceptance. I had less control over what I needed for myself.

What I had been doing with my organization in the studio simply wasn't working either. It was vital for me to find a different way, and with the blessing of the old gods & the new, this way might work for a time. 

And as far as how I feel when I look in the mirror or how it seems I have less energy to quilt, well, I did something in creating these labels. I tried taking a selfie to post here, but after way too many blurry images or stupid head tilts, I gave up and gave in.
I've actually got two goals with my things in the studio, in my home and in my gardens. First of all, I only want to work with projects that spark joy for me. When I get to the point in working with something that no longer serves my heart song, or abilities, then it gets to move along. Secondly, most people leave things behind for someone else to deal with. When that happens, I hope my labeling helps.

Part of the Radical Acceptance is knowing that I need goals and meaning in my life. I need hope. Having bins with projects to finish for the next three years might get me through all this fabric. 

It is what it is, and will be what happens.