I had not realized how many bookmarks are around here. I tend to use those advertising cards that have gotten to be oversized post cards because they really stick out in a book.
Having a public profile on that swap page makes what you receive your responsibility. Of course, people send what they can afford or have, but we are all strangers and this is the only way we have to make known our secret longings.
I remember my first Secret Santa gifts. They came from commercial addresses, and so I kept wondering who knew me so well as to buy exactly what I wanted because I knew me so well that I know I don't tend to reveal my secret longings, not even to folks closest to me.
I think I have held onto to my secrets because of the roles in life I have played, teacher, advisor, counselor....and any secrets define inner thoughts, dreams and even fears of not measuring up to a perceived standard.
So much in this stage of my life has been healing my entire being. I am much more accepting of my human frailties and the need to cover them up. I am starting to see how good mental health is being more transparent.
Years ago, I created holiday list templates for my Sons and their grrrlfriends so I had an idea what they really wanted. Did those things go out of fashion or am I not looking for them?
Gift-giving has become like a philosophy used with pre-schoolers who are taught, "You git what you git and you don't throw a fit." I didn't see until just now that this has been what I am doing with my quilts and other gifts. I am not sure how to change this part of my life yet because what I do comes from a lot of the fabrics that have been given to me and I don't see that changing anytime soon.
It is a matter of choice, and if we don't take the time to make our needs, wants and even dis-likes known, then we run the risk of being disappointed right along side of the possibility of being thrilled. However, being transparent seems run those same risks and possibilities...and so now what? Which is better for mental health?
