Tuesday, April 29, 2014

When Things Go Missing

There is nothing worse when you think you are so organized to have something go missing. As the end of the month rolls around, I am working on the various swaps I've joined so that they can all be shipped out on time.  

I also started the Summer Mug Rug Swap that goes to my friend Rex, put it away to work on something else, and then forgot where I put it. 

When it didn't appear just when it seemed time to work on it, I started to obsess. In an ideal world, I could have let it go and simply trusted that it would show up. I thought all the right things like encouraging myself to believe that it wasn't necessary to control everything; recognizing that there was a divine order and timing; and encouraging myself to believe that it would show up on time.

As a life coach for others, its what I say and what I believe for them. Its just harder for me to believe those things for myself. So yesterday, I sorted my fabric bins and kept looking.

This morning I found it where I thought I put it. Somehow the little baggie was hidden. Here is a soft focus picture that doesn't give away what it will look like. Was it the right moment? Good goddess all the time I spent looking! 

Oh, I guess the sorting served its purpose too. Does this example show up in my sub-conscious as a reminder to trust? Will the next time be easier even if it is something more critical or important?

One can only hope. In the greater scheme of things, missing a few scraps of fabric like these is not such a big deal. In fact, finding them again, is not such a big deal. If anything, this morning, I want to reach beyond my self-imposed limitations no matter what they are.

If I allow myself to remember other lessons like these, they were so much harder. Times that I thought I would never survive or be able to go on from the loss of people who passed or relationships that ended. Those were the deep lessons of my soul that were profound enough to last a lifetime. So how did I forget that I could survive other losses? 

It seems to me, this morning, that the loss and finding of these fabric scraps was a gentle reminder, one that didn't have a gut-renching price and yet taught me that there is a cycle to all things. Losing turns to finding again. Just let it go, just believe what was lost will return. And it does. Every time.