Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Selfish Sewing Next Week

Yah, right. 

I followed a link through three blogs (52 Quilts in 52 Weeks; the concept hosted by Imagine Gnat and Made with Moxie) to read the suggestion that this week be one where you make things for yourself. They set this up some time ago as a challenge to fabric artists with reminders that it was coming, that I never saw until this morning. And as I followed their links, it seemed that the hostesses of the challenge created more fashion garments for themselves. And to give examples of what they made, they worked in advance.

Do I have time?

I only saw it this morning, making today Day #2 of the week. I don't have a plan. I need a plan. I want a plan. I like this concept.

Its just not going to work for me this week. The originators did their work in advance, and I will play catch-up. 

I have two quilts yet to finish, and eight to ship by the end of the month. Its great to see the world spinning with new ideas, and know I don't have to go along for the ride in that same moment; and know also that I can spin and twirl on my own and be just as fulfilled.

Being selfish isn't a bad thing, but for me, its a hard thing to do. I've spent my life putting others' well-being and happiness first, even though I teach a different concept to others in my everyday conversations and through the classes I present.

In truth, I started being selfish a few years ago when I realized that my needs were not being met. I had taught others how to treat me, and they believed there was little they could do or gift me that I couldn't get or didn't have. Every time I said, "That's alright", I let others believe it didn't matter and it was ok for me when birthdays or invitations or holidays were not acknowledged. It really wasn't ok. And I thought I was being selfless.

Thing is, I don't know what it means to do selfish sewing. I haven't got a plan.

I'm driving through the desert this morning to the big city to get an oil change. It will take an hour on a straight freeway and driving with little traffic, so I will have time to think about what I might like to make myself NEXT week after the quilts are completed and shipped out. 

Next week, I will do Selfish Sewing. 

After my trip today, I will have an idea of what I want to sew for myself and make a plan. I can do this. If my whole theory about quilting is to create something that is made with 'every stitch a prayer', then I will be doing it for myself next week. 

Its actually exciting.