Saturday, March 25, 2017

Creating Beauty

When I closed my blog for Friday, I put up an Alice Walker quote about creating beauty and restoring one's soul.

Then I went to bed and released my conscious thought to dreams. I know this Jungian pysch class is working on me all the time. Archetypes, Complexes & Projections. Good Goddess, its a lot to deal with.

When I first started quilting, my goal was goal make one quilt for every family member. And they were all practice pieces. I started getting better and then my skills started waning with Essential Tremors in my left hand that moved to my right hand & are now starting to shake my lips. Shaking. 

My lifelong stomach problems finally cumulated in delayed emptying which is called Gastroparesis; and the other chronic conditions I had been dealing with in the last couple of decades flared, all serving to exhaust me and limit my physical activities. Unfortunately, the side effects for all of them can bring sadness and depression. And worse yet, most are falsely attributed to aging, though EACH condition can show up in children and adults of all ages and genders. Yet aging is also a factor.

Bottom line is that everyone has something. Family members in Minnesota started having their own life issues, and elders were passing. I was here in southern Cali, feeling a bit disconnected. Funny thing is that what I experience, what we all experience, is part of the human collective. Like I said, everyone has something. We connect, lose touch, feel isolated, then choose to either suck our thumbs and close up, or find ways to create beauty.

That first quilting goal was met, and then another & another. Yet, there is still fabric in my closets to use, and Alice Walker is right! My soul restores every time I finish a quilted project; every time more of these scraps become something beautiful.

The best I can do is model soul restoration to younger members in my family. What they say and think about me now and after I am gone, will be in part their observations & judgments. What I do with what I have is for me. It has to be. I make these quilted projects because they bring me joy and restore my soul. 

I will not give a hoot about anyone's opinion. I need to be hootless.

It is that simple.