Playing Secret Santa Games

I am always impressed with the generosity of quilters. I subscribed to the "12 Days of Christmas" swap for this year. Rules were simple: You have to include a total of a yard of fabric, something hand made, and while you can give from your stash, you are also to spend at least $30. We filled out a profile so our SS would have some idea of what to purchase. Sadly, the woman I was assigned got so ill that she is in hospice and failing day by day. I don't think she was well enough to open what I sent. It comes back to prayers. I have been lighting a candle for her since learning of her health.

However, part of the fun of the SS games is assembling your package. The other part is in receiving. Receiving is a challenge for me. I grew up as a privileged child who had everything she ever wanted. I closed off energetically to receiving from others. My life is not the same as it was when I was a child. I have had to teach myself new skills such as being open to receive. 

 I've already started using some of the gifts and they have been wonderful. This one wraps around the bobbin and holds the end threads. I hadn't noticed how threads were tangling in the small drawer of the sewing machine. 

This next one is a set of three rubber bands to fit around projects. I've already used two of them to hold projects too small for a bin on their own yet. They aren't a strong binding so would snap if you pulled it but are perfect for their function.

I am hosting a year-long monthly swap on Swap-Bot that creates prayer flags for the 12 archetypes of woman. The fabric is cut 6" wide x 12" long and then folded down in back 3" to form a sleeve so the recipient can run a ribbon or rope through and hang them outside. This month's theme is the Daughter, that birth to pre-menopausal. 

Using the words, "Play like a Girrrl" says so much about what I want healed in myself. Of all the things that I bring forth from within my childhood, I do not know how to play without making it work-related, and I do not know how to rest or take naps. My fabric for this project is hand dyed. I have three pieces to work with this year and will cut my prayer flags from this material.

What I mean by that phrase, is that I remember what it was like to experience premature responsibility. I have lost what it means to feel ever-young. Playing can give true nourishment and when that is lost, like it has been in me, I see that in my lifetime, I have sought out ways that try to get it back. Now, age is a factor so I am not going to run and jump safely, and my prayer intention is to find the essence of this archetype in this time of my life.

I am so indoctrinated to be...what? Proper, act my age? ...that it is almost impossible for me to waste time like a child would. To color, to play with dolls, to make believe. My inner Daughter is being shushed. And that has to change.

I told folks who want to participate in the prayer flag project with me to keep everything simple and not add go-gahs to their flags that might damage wildlife if they fall to the ground and are swallowed. I know some folks want the pretty, artzie stuff, but this project is about prayer and healing. It can include creative art as a vehicle toward the end object. Well, you see mine. Hand-dyed fabric, some specialty machine stitching to close the seam and a swatch of pretty ribbon. Grrly to say the least.