These days it seems that people are not always choosing to marry, rather choosing to co-habitate. Its not up to anyone to judge their choices. Yet, when it comes to including a person as part of family and thereby honoring my commitment to make everyone IN the family a quilt, I consider their status carefully.
In considering how many resources and how much time I spend on a quilt, I wonder what they will do with it should their relationship status change. Breakups effect any family member who took the person into their heart. Sometimes the 'outlaw' leaves the family without closure for everyone.
Again, thinking about the 'outlaws' in the family helps me realize that our culture teaches us how to fall in love and not how to separate without a lot of trauma drama.
Quilts represent comfort, warmth, caring. I am such a hands-off kind of family member or friend that I would not get into the trauma drama of any relationship that needs to end. Sometimes they just end when it is time.
Here I am, this Granny, with Grandkids who choose not to start families and raise children. Here I am getting to know their partners and liking them, loving them for loving my darlings. Of course they get quilts. And once I make a quilt and ship it off, I let it go because its part in my story is over. I do not worry what happens to the quilt. I made it with love. And the person who owns it gets to chose how it is used.
And no matter what, I think the world needs as much love, and comfort as it can get. Outlaw, in-law, family, friends or strangers. I love quilting and want to shop from this closet until it is empty.