Being a Black Sheep

Sometimes being such an Aries also means I have a dark side. I don't do things the way most people do. No one needs to see my long list of challenges. Most of the time I play nice, even though my potty mouth can spill out without notice. The Urban Dictionary says that being a black sheep means you aren't living up to the expectations in your family, herd, pack, tribe for a number of reasons. Usually, I meet the criteria.

After my block fail, and before a trip to the fabric store, I headed into my closet to see what I could see. Bins seem full because I pull fabric out, sometimes fold it when I put it back in the colorized bags, and sometimes not. 

One of the bins is dedicated to holiday fabrics from 4th of July through Hallows, T-Day, Winter, and back around to V-Day. 

People in my family, and most everyone else's family, love to shop. I hate it as I have blogged before. It is my choice to use what I have and shop in my closets first, and often. Shopping takes time and robs me of so much energy while giving me stress. No wonder I hate going.

It isn't enough to pull out fabric and make a bigger mess by just tossing it back in. That only hurts me in the end. What helps is to cut these scraps down. Yes, another day spent with a rotary cutter and mat. Eventually, these squares will go into comfort quilts. I went through the holiday fabric bin and got to cutting. These are kept away from the general fabrics and will be used for a specific theme. One way to look at it is that I do a little cutting here and there, and do keep at it.

What I like about this choice to shop my closets first is accepting that what I do and how I do it is enough, and who I am is enough. I am not sure how old I was when I first got it, got this lesson about shopping stores vs. shopping my closets. I remember becoming aware of the environment and how fast the landfills were over-flowing and how what we had was almost too much. I remember seeing a museum exhibit for what home life looked like 100 years ago, that people had one change of work clothes and one for good; that they didn't have closets or a lot of storage for excess. 

So here I am, spending another day cutting 2.5", 3", 4", 5", 6", 8", & 10" squares along with 2.5" strips in holiday fabrics with no end goal, only a dream, a plan, a hope. One of the bins looks more empty. I filled a smaller one with these cut squares and strips, without a plan or any notes-to-self.

I know that people in my life, not living in my home, do what they can for the environment. We all come to a place of seeing what we can do, and with good luck, we are able to really take the action that sets this wheel of Reduce, Re-purpose, Re-use, and Re-cycle in motion. It makes me wonder if there is enough time to make a difference with our small personal changes. We can only do what only we can do. And it is enough. It has to be enough.