Sunday, March 30, 2014

Languages of Love

I've heard about theory of the Five Emotional Languages of Love, which come from a Christian marriage counseling book written by Dr. Gary Chapman. I probably won't read it for those reasons, however, do like most communication theories and tend to consider them when I relate to others. This represents a theory I am looking at for today.

When we communicate as evolved beings, we think about the other person's style and know that when we adjust our interaction to meet their style, there is a much better flow of thought, emotion and connection. Chapman's list is:

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Quality Time
  • Gifts
  • Acts of Service
  • Physical Touch


For me, quilting covers all five of these languages, even if the recipient doesn't see or feel it right away. 

Some people write on labels or the quilt. Words give the name of the quilt, sometimes a quote, and always words of love the quilt-maker feels. Most quilters will include a card with more kind words.

Obviously there is time that goes into quilt-making that is spent alone by the quilt-maker and not shared in the moment of creation with the recipient.  It does become a gift. It is an act of service. And the quilt itself provides that physical touch...again not shared in the moment.

I signed up for another quilt block swap last week. This one is for 6" blocks and again, is International. That means I am doing BOM's with my local friend (not a swap), one Calendar-themed swap with Crow Calling Woman (Rex), a 12" Christmas Block & this new 6" block swap. Additionally, I am participating in the Applique Mystery Quilt (I am WAY behind & find appliques most challenging), and another Spring Mystery Quilt.

This morning, I worked on a number of projects, moving them along to the next steps towards a finish. I don't believe I am pressuring myself by taking on these smaller projects each month. Most go out to folks who are new contacts, and they give me a chance to grow in my skills as I make the larger quilts destined as gifts of love to family and friends.

I probably will always feel a sense of isolation because my family lives thousands of miles from me. I will probably seek perfectionism, and often simply let go and move on from projects that stress me out. I am working on it all.