Some of us become too realistic as we look at misery & injustice in our world. We settle. Its as if we give up thinking that this is how it is & there are no other options. We stop looking. We start limiting our options & we let ourselves become blind to the world around us.
Next on my agenda are two embroidery projects that bring out all sorts of anxiety regarding the essential tremors I feel in both hands now. Fear strikes at me before I even start. I am used to seeing how fear immobilizes me and knowing that my options are to let the fear stop me from living or get on with it and just do whatever is next.
All the materials for the projects are ready. And I know that when I finish one of them, the sense of accomplishment will be joyful. So why the hesitancy? Why the angst? If only I knew. That one above is meant to be a pillow in the shape of a headstone for Hallows. Its small. It will go to the bottom of the UFO projects to finish as a pillow.
Last year, when I traveled, I took the Snow Friends embroidery project with me. It is a free pattern for 3 whimsical blue work snow people. I tried a different fabric stabilizer that I don't want to use again, yet have another set printed on it and ready to embroider. Its a very simple pattern, so my thought was to make them as bedroom door knob hangers for some of the kids in my life. I didn't put a number on how many of these I would make.
I love embroidering and used to do it every night for decades. Since the essential tremors started, I noticed they got worse at night PLUS my vision changed. It was harder to thread needles, and hard to hold the hoop steady. That's when I started whining about getting older. I mean, really? Isn't everyone?
Sometimes I wonder if, like in the Matrix, I am being offered the choice of taking a red pill (of painful truth) or a blue pill (of blissful illusion).