Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Do-Over: A New Process For Me

Admittedly, I didn't grow up in the midst of other kids, so the concept of 'do-over' is new to me. If a person waits for the perfect experience when all is safe and assured, it may never come. We can accept mistakes and go on. We can learn not to make those choices again. Yet.

Discovering one quilt back with wrinkles was more than I wanted to see. Discovering that it might have been caused by tape that didn't hold the back onto the table during basting made sense. When the second quilt back started to wrinkle, my first thought was to pin it more and more, as is. However, there were still wrinkles. Honestly, I was not willing to accept them.

I have put too much energy and expectation of their beauty into these quilts to have them turn out crappy. I took out all the basting, pulled out my ripper and started removing the two quilting seams that were started. 

Threads need to be pulled out on both the batting and the quilt top & back, with the fabrics cleaned up and examined. It looks like a lot of my time had to go into this 'do-over'. The next part is to baste it again with stronger tape holding it to the table, and then machine quilt.

And so, is the lesson that a 'do-over' is the easy way out? Or is it that a person has to work hard to make things right? Its not a little kid's game. The time it takes to fix the first basting has not been easy. Although it is a physical task, the mental anguish was where the hard part came in. I found myself struggling with an inner demon who had many negative things to say to me. 

So I would stop working, sit myself down and repeat some affirmations like, "This moment is filled with joy. I choose to experience the sweetness of the day" and "I create only peace and harmony within myself & my environment."

And then when I am balanced and in a good space, I return to quilting and go on.